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If only we could solve our problems

January 14, 2014

Here’s a great idea…
In her book Why Talking Is Not Enough, Susan Page says:
“Most couples believe, ‘If only we could solve our problems, then we could be happy together.’ The opposite is actually true: if you focus first on being happy together, your problems will diminish
” ( p. 55).

In other words…
When we consistently focus on what is wrong with our relationship, soon all we can see are the problems. If we place our focus on what is good, or what makes our relationship happy, then that is what we will see. When we do this, many of the things we thought were problems will fade away.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…
Think of ways to show your love through words or acts of kindness or compassion. Practice restraint when rough times arise. Look for the good in your partner and your relationship.

To find out more…
about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden or the Getting Our Hearts Right program at, follow us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You may also like to read Why Talking Is Not Enough.

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