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The attitude behind your words

September 30, 2013

Here’s a great idea…
In their book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish say,
“The attitude behind your words is as important as the words themselves.  The attitude that children thrive upon is one that communicates, ‘You’re basically a lovable, capable person.  Right now there’s a problem that needs attention. Once you’re aware of it, you’ll probably respond responsibly.’” (p. 75)

In other words…
When our children make mistakes, we often communicate irritation and impatience to them. When we’re tired or frustrated, we may even make them feel as if they are bad people. When this happens, they may become defensive or discouraged and unable or unwilling to fix the problem. If instead, we capture the more positive attitude described in the quote above, our children are far more likely to work with us to solve the problems.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…                
The next time you feel irritated with your child, pause. Say those recommended words with a supportive attitude: “You’re basically a lovable, capable person.  Right now there’s a problem that needs attention.  Once you’re aware of it, you’ll probably respond responsibly.”

To find out more…
about parenting, check out The Parenting Journey, See the World Through My Eyes, or Getting Our Hearts Right at arfamilies.org, follow us at facebook.com/navigatinglife or contact your local county Extension agent. You might also enjoy reading How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk.

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