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The remedy for emotional bumps and bruises

July 19, 2013

Here’s a life-changing idea…                                                                                                                          

In their book, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish say,
“One father said that what helped him become more sensitive to his son’s emotional needs was when he began to equate the boy’s bruised, unhappy feelings with physical bruises. Somehow the image of a cut or laceration helped him realize that his son required as prompt and serious attention for his feelings as he would for a hurt knee” (p. 28).

 In other words…

A physical wound should be treated with proper first aid before the injured person tries to resume normal activity. The same is true for emotional wounds. Those wounds need to be treated with compassion and kindness before issues can be dealt with. When our children are hurting, we shouldn’t immediately push them towards solutions. We need to offer the healing of listening ears, tender hearts, and loving gestures. Only when our children feel safe and loved can we move to effective problem solving.

 Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…                 

The next time your child is hurting, don’t try to fix the problem until you deal with your child’s pain. Sit with your child and offer comfort. After your child is feeling more peaceful, you can work together to find a solution.

 To find out more…

about parenting, check out The Parenting Journey, Getting Our Hearts Right, or See the World Through My Eyes programs at, like us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You might also enjoy reading How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

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