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Seeing our partners perfectly

June 3, 2013

Here’s a great idea…

In his book, To Love and Be Loved, Sam Keen says,

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person [compassionately].”

In other words…

No partner in a relationship is perfect; we all have our faults. We can look endlessly for a perfect match. But perfect partners only exist in our imaginations. There is a better way. When we choose to show compassion for our partners, we open the door for limitless love. We can delight in their quirks and eccentricities. We can celebrate their unique humanness.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…

The next time you are irritated by your partner’s quirks, make a conscious choice to value their unique humanness. Enjoy their way of being.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden or the Getting Our Hearts Right program at, follow us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You may also like to read Love 2.0 by Barbara Fredrickson.

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