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Why do my kids lie?

May 13, 2013

Here’s a great Idea …

In his book, Between Parent and Child, Haim G. Ginott says,

“Parents should not ask questions that are likely to cause defensive lying. Children resent being interrogated by a parent, especially when they suspect the answers are already known. They hate questions that are traps, questions that force them to choose between an awkward lie and an embarrassing confession.”

In other words…

 We should try to make sure we set our children up for success, and not put them in positions where they feel like they have to lie. When our children have told us something that we know is not true, we should calmly state that we know what they have said is untrue, rather than continuing to pressure them to defend their lie.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…

If you know your child has taken a cookie, don’t ask them if they took the cookie. You already know the answer. Instead simply tell the child that you are disappointed that they took the cookie. And deal with the situation as appropriate.

To find out more…

 about parenting, check out The Parenting Journey or See the World Through My Eyes programs at, follow us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You might also enjoy reading Between Parent and Child.

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