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Robots make poor partners

April 24, 2013

Here’s a great idea…

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
-Thomas Merton

In other words…

Sometimes we think that we can help the people we love by encouraging them to change into the people we think they should be. The problem is that we aren’t very good people designers. We often fail to see what amazing people our partners already are. Even worse, we are often trying to create a robot to look after our needs. Having a full-fledged companion may be inconvenient at times but it is infinitely better than having a machine as a partner.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…

The next time you are annoyed by some fault you see in your partner, try to see how that very irritation can bless, balance, or stretch you. For example, if your partner is indecisive, can you instead connect that to being easy-going? Can you see a peacemaker rather than a wimp? Can you see a conscientious person rather than a control freak?

To Find Out More…
check out The Marriage Garden or Getting Our Hearts Right programs at, like us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You might also enjoy reading Susan Page’s Why Talking is Not Enough.

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