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Being a facilitator rather than a gatekeeper

April 19, 2013

Here’s a life-changing idea…                                                                                                                          

In his book, Between Parent & Teenager, Haim Ginott says,

“Our long-term task is to provide children with relationships and experiences that refine character and build personality. Our main purpose is to tempt them to live up to their human potential. This purpose is better implemented quietly than proclaimed loudly” (p. 35).

In other words…

We may think of our job as parents as maintaining control over our children—keeping them out of trouble. But there is a much loftier goal: to prepare them to be strong and caring adults. This doesn’t happen by simply regulating their lives. It is the result of experiencing abundant love as they face life’s challenges. There is a vital place for teaching—but it is no more important than being sources of compassion and guidance.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…

Think of strengths your child already exhibits. How can you take that child to the next level? What friends, experiences and support would help them get there?

To find out more…

about parenting, check out The Parenting Journey or See the World Through My Eyes programs at, follow us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You might also enjoy reading Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott.

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