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Keeping your cool

December 18, 2012

Here’s a life-changing idea…                                                                                                                          

In his workshop, Anger Management: Keeping Our Cool, H. Wallace Goddard says,

“Being angry is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die. Anger destroys us. It also can damage our most important relationships. It gives control of our lives to irrational, hard-hearted, and unhelpful passion. It is like using fire to remodel our homes. It can destroy indiscriminately.”

In other words…

While we all feel anger at times, when we allow it to take hold in our lives, it can harm and even ruin our relationships.  When we feel frustration, annoyance, or irritation, we can deal with these feelings without resorting to anger. Disdain, hostility, and blaming destroy. There is a better way of dealing with strong feelings.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…                                                          

When you’re tempted to be angry at someone, first, check your own mood. Are you tired, hungry, or lonely? If so, get to a better state of well-being before you express anger.

Second, we all act on partial information. Anger may be a signal that we have misunderstood someone. Try to find out more about the situation. If your partner is upset, don’t try to change his or her feelings. Listen to all he or she says and show you are trying to understand. As you acknowledge and understand your partner, you will be better able to work through the problem that sparked your anger.

To find out more…

check out The Marriage Garden program at, like us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You might also enjoy reading Anger Kills: Seventeen Strategies for Controlling the Hostility That Can Harm Your Health by Redford and Virginia Williams.

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