Skip to content

Making creative use of our differences

October 24, 2012

Here’s a life-changing idea…                                                                                                                          

In his book, How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, Patricia Love and Steven Stonsy say,
“There is good news in the slight male advantage in focusing on facts relatively free of emotion, coupled with the slight female advantage in processing facts in the deeper emotional context: We make a good team. And we can stay a good team throughout marriage, as long as we don’t try to change or control each other with accusations of too little heart or too much emotion”  (p. 31).

In other words…

When facing problems, it is not our differences that drive us apart; it is how we manage them.  If we accept upfront that each of us brings something important to the discussion, we will be able to work in tandem to create solutions that will leave both partners feeling satisfied and understood.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…                                                          

The next time you feel impatient in a discussion with your partner, pause to appreciate the perspective he or she brings. Enjoy that point of view. Express appreciation. When your partner feels appreciated and understood, ask if you can explain your perspective.

To find out more…

check out The Marriage Garden program at, like us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You might also enjoy reading How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: