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Creating a love map

October 4, 2012

Here’s a great idea…                                                                                                                          

In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman says,
“From knowledge springs not only love but the fortitude to weather marital storms. Couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s world are far better prepared to cope with stressful events and everyday conflict.” (pp. 48-49)

In other words…

The more we know about our partners—their dreams, fears, hopes, and anxieties—the better we will understand the reasons behind our partners’ actions. We can be more compassionate and can help them on their journeys toward their dreams.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…                                                          

Stay alert for clues about your partner’s love map. What matters to her or him? Everyday learn something about them you didn’t know before: a hope, a fear, a wish, or a worry. As you make these discoveries, strive to understand and support your partner’s preferences.

To find out more…

check out The Marriage Garden program at, like us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Seven Principles for Making Your Marriage Work.

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