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Being a safe haven for your partner

September 11, 2012

Here’s a great idea…
In his book, The Marriage Clinic, John Gottman says,
“Make the marriage feel like a port in a storm, where each can get support and solace from the everyday stresses of the world.” (p. 215)

In other words…
Life’s challenges, big and small, pelt us with rain and hail.  They sometimes threaten to drown us. We need to make our relationships safe havens.  As we listen to and support our partners through their trials, they will feel relief and safety from the storms of life.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…                                                      When you can tell your partner has had a tough day, take that as an invitation. See if you can create a safe harbor using what you know about your partner’s preferences. Does she want a few minutes to exercise? Would he like some vent time to complain about his boss? Maybe some quiet time to relax and take some deep breaths? Probably both of you are stressed—but any effort to create a safe haven for your partner will make life better for both of you.

To find out more…
check out The Marriage Garden program www.arfamilies.org, like us at www.facebook.com/navigatinglifeor contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read The Marriage Clinic.

One Comment
  1. September 11, 2012 3:04 pm

    I totally agree. I have been married for 12 years and find that being each other’s source of love and comfort has gotten us through the many life changes we have experienced over the years and the challenging times too. With everything going on in the world, I know that all changes have to start in the home, where love and compassion are formed and grow. Thank you for talking the time to acknowledge the importance of love and compassion within the marriage.

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