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Getting stuck in being right

May 24, 2012

Here’s a great idea…

In her book, Why Talking is Not Enough, Susan Page says, “You help bring about a power struggle when you become certain that your own point of view is the only right one and you zealously cling to it.” (p. 123)

In other words…

We often get so focused on our own way of looking at things that we become convinced that we have the right way. When we disagree about something with our partners, we can quickly work ourselves into a standoff, unable to see any possibilities but our own. If we can step outside our own point of view and be open to where our partners are coming from, we will better be able to work towards an acceptable solution for all.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…

Think of a disagreement you have had with your partner. Reflect: What parts of the conflict do you and your partner agree on? What is the weakness in your reasoning? Think about your partner’s position. What are the reasons behind his or her feelings? When you realize that there are good reasons that other people feel and act the way they do, you can get out of the power struggle and open up the lines of understanding and connection.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden program at arfamilies.org, follow us at facebook.com/navigatinglife or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Why Talking is Not Enough.

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