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Assuming the worst

February 23, 2012

Here’s a great idea…

In his book, Love is Never Enough, Aaron T. Beck says, “Negative attributions—finding an unfavorable explanation for what a spouse does—constitute one of the more common thinking problems in marriage.” (p. 165)

In other words…

There are times when we all jump to conclusions about our partner’s motivations. When we assume the worst about our partners without first finding out the facts, we create unnecessary conflict and resentment in our relationship. If we instead give our partners the benefit of the doubt we can avoid unnecessary tension.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life…

The next time you are tempted to jump to a negative conclusion about your partner’s reasons for doing something, take a few minutes to calm down. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt until you learn the whole story.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden program at arfamilies.org, follow us at facebook.com/navigatinglife or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Love is Never Enough.

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