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Are you seeing your partner as the problem?

December 22, 2011

Here’s a great idea …

In his book, Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness, Blaine Fowers says, “We became partners in working something out rather than fighting with each other over it because we both wanted to be on the same side more than we wanted to win the argument…The idea of our being on the same side reminds us that our marriage is more important than almost any disagreement we might have.” (p. 139)

In other words …

We will inevitably have disagreements with our partners. When this happens we can look at it in one of two ways. It can either be a chance to tear our partners down in an effort to prove ourselves right or it can be a chance for us to work together to solve a common problem. When we work as a team instead of against each other we can strengthen our relationship.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life …

The next time a disagreement arises between you and your partner, stop and consider how you are looking at the situation. Are you seeing your partner as the problem? If so, choose to see the problem as the problem instead. Find some common ground that will help you and your partner work together.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden program at arfamilies.org, follow us at facebook.com/navigatinglife or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Fower’s book Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness.

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