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How can I provide a safe haven for my partner?

December 15, 2011

Here’s a great idea …

In her book, Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson says “If we have generally found others to be safe havens and have a secure bond with our lover, then it is easier for us to keep our emotional balance when we feel vulnerable, connect with our deepest feelings and voice the attachment longing that is always part of us.”  (p. 143)

In other words …

Everyone needs a safe place where they can let their guard down and be themselves. By paying attention to our partners and providing them with support and empathy, our relationship can become that safe place. The more our partners can see our relationship as a safe place, the more free they can feel to open up and share with us.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life …

This week encourage your partner to share with you what is going on in their life: their frustrations, their hopes, their joys, and their fears. The more support and acceptance we can give our partners, the safer they will feel about sharing with us.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden program at arfamilies.org, follow us at facebook.com/navigatinglife or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Johnson’s Hold Me Tight.

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