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What’s the antidote for contempt?

November 14, 2011

Here’s a great idea …

In their book, 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, John and Julie Gottman say, “Feelings of fondness and admiration are the perfect antidotes to contempt. When couples make a full, conscious effort to notice things they like about each other’s personalities and character, and to express that fondness right out loud, their relationships typically improve.”

In other words …

It’s easy to notice when our partner’s do things that bother us, and these little annoyances can quickly build up. The way to counteract this is to remember the things you appreciate and admire about your partner.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life …

This week actively look for things you enjoy about your partner. Notice the small things they do that make your life and relationship better. And when you notice those things, express your appreciation. Look for any reason to offer sincere compliments and praise.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden program at arfamilies.org, follow us at facebook.com/navigatinglife, or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Gottman’s 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage.

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