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Protect rather than attack

November 11, 2011

Will you protect rather than attack?

 Here’s a great idea …

In their book, How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, Patricia Love and Steven Stosny say, “We’re giving you a tall order: Be at your best when your partner is at his or her worst.” (p. 110).

In other words …

When our partners are upset, we may be tempted to get drawn into a battle. Rather than fight our partners, we can bring peace.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life …

The next time your partner is upset with you or life, resist the urge to defend yourself or argue. Look at your partner. Ask yourself how you can connect rather than withdraw, protect rather than attack, and reassure rather than undermine. Try it. You may find that it brings surprisingly positive results.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden program at, follow us at, or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Love and Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.

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