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Weed your own garden

September 13, 2011

A Great Idea …

“It is human nature to notice mistakes and weaknesses in others. At the same time, we tend to excuse our own mistakes because of stress or pressure. Yet the way to strengthen a relationship is to weed our own gardens while appreciating our partners’ flowers.” (Professors of Family Life, H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall, in their publication, The Marriage Garden)

In Other Words…

We can think of our marriages as gardens—filled with vibrant flowers and annoying weeds. Maybe we are responsible for some parts of those gardens while our partners tend others. If we dwell on their weeds, we may be upset all the time. In contrast, when we celebrate the excellent flowers our spouses have tended and nurtured, we will be more positive and appreciative. We need to take care of the weeding in our garden while appreciating our partner’s flowers.

How This Applies to You…

The next time you are tempted to find fault with your partner, choose instead to be a better partner. Ask yourself: How can I bring more life and goodness to our relationship? Maybe you will choose to be less critical or more appreciative.

To Find Out More…

For more great ideas (or to share your ideas) check out the Navigating Life’s Journey blog

For an excellent (and free!) program on marriage, see The Marriage Garden at Arkansas Families.

For an excellent book focused on marriage, read The Marriage Garden by H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall or Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by John Gottman.

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