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My children are taking over my marriage!

January 4, 2011

What Experts Say…
“Adjustments are normal and inevitable.  But there is a difference between adjusting your marriage to meet your children’s needs and losing your marriage to parenthood.”

William J. Doherty, professor of Marriage and Family Therapy, at University of Minnesota, in his book, Take Back Your Marriage.


In Other Words…

The demands of parenting are never-ending. They will swamp our marriages—unless we carve out time to maintain and build our partner relationships. This does not require whole weeks away from clamoring children; it may mean fifteen minutes a day to catch up on each other’s lives. It may mean weekly dates without the children. It may mean daily phone calls just to share what’s happening in our lives.


How This Applies to You…

This week, set aside time where you can focus specifically on your partner. You don’t have to do something big. Just make time to catch up with each other. Ask what your partner is excited or worried about. Listen. Then you can share the same with your partner. Make time for a date.


To Find Out More…

For an excellent (and free!) program on marriage, see The Marriage Garden at Arkansas Families.

For more in-depth reading, we recommend Take Back Your Marriage by William J. Doherty or The Marriage Garden by H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall

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