Skip to content

Have I ruined my child?

December 28, 2010

What Experts Say…

“When you’ve made a mistake as a parent, don’t beat yourself up over it … Children are much more affected by the enduring conditions of their home environment than by isolated events, even when those events are dramatic ones. What matters is the overall climate your child is exposed to over time.”
Psychologist Laurence Steinberg, in his book The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting.

In Other Words…

We all make mistakes in our parenting. When we make mistakes we can make things much worse by being mad at ourselves and getting discouragement. It is far better to figure out what we could have done differently and to be sure we’re doing lots of the things that improve the general atmosphere of our homes. That’s the way to be an effective parent.

How This Applies to You…

The best thing you can do to make a positive difference in your child’s life is to create a positive and supportive atmosphere in your home. You can do this by focusing on the positives in both your child and the relationship. As you make mistakes, don’t be afraid to apologize. But also, don’t be afraid to hold to reasonable limits. Sometimes your kids will be mad at you even when you’re doing a great job.

To Find Out More…

For an excellent (and free!) program on parenting, see The Parenting Journey at and if you have children less than 5 years of age, check out See the World Through My Eyes.

For more in depth reading on parenting, we recommend The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting by Laurence Steinberg.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: