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What exactly is romantic love?

December 7, 2010

What the Experts Say…

Romantic love is “the idealization of another, idealizing their strengths and virtues and downplaying their shortcomings,” according to psychologist, Dr. Martin Seligman in his book, Authentic Happiness.

In Other Words…

Sometimes we stop feeling romantic towards our partner simply because we stop focusing on the good things about them. Instead, we start dwelling on their faults, what we don’t like about them.

How This Applies to You…

This week look for the strengths in your partner. Stop and think about the reasons you first fell in love with them. Try to find at least three good things about your partner this week. Focus on these things instead of the things that make you upset. You may find the romance being rekindled in your marriage.

To Find Out More…

For an excellent program on marriage, see The Marriage Garden at Arkansas Families.

For more information on finding happiness in general (including in your marriage), we recommend Authentic Happiness by Martin E.P. Seligman. For more information on books focused on marriage, we recommend 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman or The Marriage Garden by H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall.

1 Romantic Love – Mar

One Comment
  1. Heather permalink
    December 13, 2010 3:20 pm

    Three things I loved about my husband 20 years ago:
    His creativity, his ability to talk about interesting subjects (not just cars and football), and he was so good-looking! (and still is!)

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